I lost my hair in December 2017. It was almost Christmas, I found a bald patch about the size of a coke can base, and went to the doctors.
I had been on maternity with my 3rd daughter. I felt really run down, and thought perhaps I was anaemic or similar. Which had happened during a previous pregnancy.
The doctor diagnosed me with alopecia areata, and told me to get a blood test done. He stressed the lack of urgency this required, and that is was very much a non emergency. I was given a leaflet, and sent home.
Fast forward to the first week of January, when I was booked to have my blood test results discussed.
I wore a bobble hat to the doctors, because in that 2 wk time frame all my hair fell out.
It came out in handfuls daily. Huge clumps would fall in the shower. My hair brush was full every day. It got to the stage where I thought something was seriously wrong. I wanted to stop brushing and washing hair - anything to make it stop falling out.
I sat in front of the doctor, removed my hat, to show him my bald head. I had maybe 5 strands left.
I had lost everything. I was worried I was seriously unwell. Because that shouldn’t happen.
The doctor diagnosed me with alopecia universalis, and I was referred to a dermatologist. The wait for these things are usually incredibly lengthy. But, by chance, and due to the severity of the hairloss, I was seen by a dermatologist in the coming weeks.
My body hair and facial hair slowly left my body as well. I had become completely and utterly hair less.
Even my nasal hair had fallen out. Which causes a constant ‘condensation’ drip in winter.
I was absolutely devastated. I felt like my identity had been completely erased. I felt unattractive. My confidence and self esteem completely eroded. I didn’t recognise myself at all.
I fell into wig wearing immediately. I didn’t feel ready to accept being bald, and so wanted the hair to be the ‘plaster’ that could help me through.
I didn’t miss a beat. I had kids to parent, school runs to do and work to attend - so life didn’t stop in anyway. I just shoved on a wig and carried on. I didn’t feel I could stop. And I didn’t feel supported enough to do anything but carry on.
The impact of alopecia is huge. It completely changed how I saw myself. My marriage ended shortly after my hair loss happened. My ability to do simple things was impacted - going to the gym suddenly because a huge issue and I just couldn’t bring myself to be seen without hair. And exercising with hair on is really unpleasant. Swimming, holidays, weekends away with friends. Perfectly everyday circumstances became huge issues that I was battling mentally and physically.
I started my instagram the day I got my first wig. I was very open about what had happened as I didn’t want my children to be scared I was unwell. So I shared my wigs and what had happened as a form of coping. In turn I met people who were or are experiencing the same. And made some wonderful friends, and created bonds that now wouldn’t ever swap for hair.
I started working with wig brands, and learning about how to make them look less wiggy, and how to wear all the styles and all the colours. And my instagram turned into education for me and others. As it grew, so did the hairloss community around me. And I felt a sense of belonging and took pride and pleasure in helping others.
And over the years, and with a rather big career change, it eventually became my job. And I love what I do now. Helping someone else, find hair that makes them feel like themselves again is such a wonderful feeling. I love bringing the joy. It brings me the joy too.
